The rumble has begun. On Tuesday night, on illegal territory north of Atlanta, the American League regained its own game from a late 6-0 deficit, fighting the All-Star Game to its first swing ever. The problem with the swing is the reason for the rumble, and it was obvious even before the ninth inning was over: it might be too interesting. Too much fun can lead to disaster, and this outbreak will reshape the landscape of baseball for all the time to come, killing the extra situation once and for all, and replacing them with something that doubts football.
When Brent Rooker prepares the opening remark of the “California Hotel” in the batsman’s box, the defender of baseball’s sovereign dignity chews his nails quickly. When he fired two baseballs into the left center field seat, they cried, irritating the person who looked with his eyes or heard with his ears. Steven Kwan jumps into the air with the innocent joy of a child. That was a sign of darkness.
“Don’t anyone think of kids?” Kyle Stowers complained about traditionalists as he slammed a wall on the green brick wall in the center of his right heart and ruled the huge brick wall near Atlanta. When Kyle Schwarber hid in the box, leaned back and swayed the bats in all directions, their fear reached a crescendo, as if avoiding any evil, defensive spirit. Schwarber has been running casually like the rest of us in the morning, he runs casually, he has the potential to change the future of baseball, solidifying the ability to swing because people religiously hope that it is hopeful, and it is a very interesting avoidance. If any player can turn his three swings into three signature home runs, it’s Schwarber.
Over the past 11 seasons, Schwarber’s swing has turned into a home run, with only the four riders in the exit speed apocalypse out of speed: Judge Aaron, Mike Trout, Giancarlo Stanton and Yordan Alvarez. On Tuesday night, Schwarber won 100% of the rounds, pushing the missile toward the death center, then lifting a rainmaker in the right center and eventually dropping onto his knees to hang a man in Truist Park’s right field seat and hang a man into a weird open office area.
Three consecutive explosions, each one bigger than the last, shocking the stadium. The National Alliance is crazy along the first baseline. Fans were crazy in the stands. Two fans, one full size and one fun size, were crazy on the balcony of the hotel room on the ninth floor opposite them. Other fans were crazy on the sofa and bar stool, probably with at least a few Beanbag chairs. Even John Smoltz doesn’t seem to have baseball worries.
Schwarber lowered his eyes and returned to his teammates, holding the bat with his fat barrel, as if to emphasize that this deadliest weapon no longer poses a danger to anyone. As only a professional baseball player can, he manages to look scared when he says the word “F-yes”. It’s an illegal, delicious drug-grade fun that seals the fate of baseball. Just your way of thinking.
You may believe you see the future, which includes less baseball and more swings, may start to be harmless. We will have a swing, but only when the score tied after the 12th inning. You might believe that the numbers after the 11th inning (10th inning) will gradually decrease and sway. Why play with the extra situation when everyone loves a nice swing? If we just cut things off in seven innings and occasional swings, we can solve the whole problem of game length once and for all.
That’s not where we go. You missed the point. That’s not to say we’re bringing the swing into the regular season. We bring Kyle Schwarber Participate in the regular season. From tomorrow, an additional situation has been completed. From tomorrow, all tie games will be decided by Kyle Schwarber, who will compete with Kyle Schwarber until Kyle Schwarber wins. Kyle Schwarber is accused of possessing the planet and ending all disputes.
When a game was nine innings, Schwarber would arrive, put on the visiting team’s hat and impressed three powerful flies. He will then wear the home team hat and play three more, alternately performing three sets until one ball fails to get into the seat until one hat proves superior until one team wins and the other loses, Schwarber does it. Kyle Schwarber will be our philosopher, judge, jury and bloodthirsty executor from coast to coast. He has decided that the extra innings are just – extra, superfluous, unnecessary – he will now and all along with them.
Logistics is daunting. To enable Schwarber to decide on every game, he will be permanently stationed at McConnell Air Force Base in Kansas, which can be up to 39 minutes of flight time at every Major League Baseball Stadium, otherwise we will be unusing the SR-71 Blackbird, the fastest production aircraft. If it proves that it is not feasible, Michael Baumann made a plan to commission a new Mach 3 Schwarbomber from scratch.
Whenever a game looks like it might be heading towards the tie at the end of the nine innings, Schwarber is tied and sent high, driving towards the relevant stadium in the 3.3 Mach. He only carries wood, a collection of all 30 team hats, and a parachute with the word “make home safe” written on it. To avoid wasting time for landing and gliding, Schwarber will pop out of the stadium directly. He is the former mechanical of baseball, descending from the sky and defeating justice with powerful bats, enough to defeat the truth in the universe. When his job is finished, the game is won and lost, he will be rushed back to Wichita to wait for the next potential draw.
This represents Schwarber’s sacrifice. He may not be tired. He may not be resting. He had to withdraw himself from all worldly loyalty, which meant that he might no longer represent the Phillies (although he might continue to carry a clear Philanthropist energy that qualifies him for the job). He may never win or lose. He may only win and lose. He will eliminate the tie in the game by burying the game deep inside him. He will be the tie that ends all tie, the exception yes rule. Kyle Schwarber will be the final estimate. If he wavered under this burden, the sport – perhaps even the concept of justice itself – would collapse. He will do the right thing. He will do what is necessary. This should be interesting.
